Chemotherapy. From the moment I thought my diagnosis might be breast cancer, this is a word I was dreading. It was the one word I was hoping not to hear when discussing my course of treatment.
But it didn’t take long for that word to come. This was going to be the first step toward healing. Though, “healing” didn’t feel like the right word to describe chemo.
I’ve seen movies. Heard stories. Seen others going through chemotherapy. While everyone’s experience is different, I knew it would be difficult.
The biggest sticking point in my mind was the fact that before starting treatment, I felt just fine. Yes, I had this diagnosis… but I felt fine. It’s an indescribable feeling to sign on for a course of “healing” treatment I knew would make me feel not fine.
In this post, I’m sharing a look at my experience thus far with chemotherapy treatment. There are lots of chemotherapy drugs out there, and everyone reacts differently to their own, specialized treatment. This is my experience alone and I am not a medical professional, be sure to always work with your doctors and health care team to manage your personal health and treatment if you’re also undergoing treatment.
Before Treatment
While prepping for my first cycle, we met with a physician assistant who walked us through how treatment is administered, what to expect, each chemotherapy drug, and managing side effects. There was a lot to discuss, and it was a long, overwhelming appointment to say the least.
I’m pretty sure I didn’t retain anything. Fortunately, Aaron took good notes and we left with another folder of information to add to our growing library.
While meeting with various doctors up until this point, a couple of compassionate moments stand out to me. We were nearing the end of the appointment, the PA paused to look me in the eyes and said, “Our goal is to cure this cancer.” In that moment, she set the path ahead for me. Yes, it was full of fear and unknowns, but it’s the determination and strength inside that I needed to find to take the first step down that path.
And so I took the step. Before I knew it, I was in the recliner, port ready to be accessed, and then the drip-drip-drip of my first treatment began.
The Drugs
My course of treatment is six cycles of chemotherapy over about 18 weeks. As I write this post, I’m currently on #5.
Here’s my chemo cocktail–five drugs with five funny names.
- Herceptin and Perjeta – The cancer cells are HER2 positive, so I receive two targeted therapies. These drugs attack the HER2 receptors of breast cancer cells and block the signals they receive that cause the uncontrolled growth.
*I will continue to receive these drugs past the six cycles; however, I’m told that many people don’t experience as many side-effects. - Taxotere and Carboplatin – These are “the big gun” chemotherapy drugs that attack all rapidly producing cells in the body. These are the nasties that cause a majority of the “icky” side-effects like nausea, fatigue, metallic taste, and hair loss, and, and, and…
- Zoladex – A monthly injection that shuts down the ovaries and stops them from producing estrogen. This helps with cancer treatment because there is less estrogen to fuel hormone-receptor-positive breast cancer. There is also educational thought that shutting down the ovaries during treatment may help preserve fertility.
My Typical Treatment Day
I receive my treatments on Saturdays. This wasn’t my choice at first, but it ended up working really well. I didn’t have to worry about taking off of work for a full day, and it makes it easier for Aaron and visitors to be there with me.
From the time I arrive to the completion of treatment, it takes about 5 to 5.5 hours (more for the first cycle because they watch you a bit more closely and drugs are administered slower in case you experience any reactions).
Here’s my basic schedule for a treatment day:
- Arrive at the cancer center, usually around 8:30am, check in, take vitals, and get settled in a treatment room.
- The nurse managing my care for the day accesses my port and collects blood samples. I still don’t like having the port, but it’s getting better and I admit it is easier than getting an IV to the arm. It’s fairly quick and almost painless, but the anticipation still gets me if I think about it too much.
- Meet with a physician assistant to discuss the previous cycle and any questions I have. Once bloodwork comes back from the lab, we discuss any concerns and determine if we can go ahead with treatment.
- Once treatment is a go, I start with premeds – zofran, dexamethasone (ugh, steroids), and emend. These do various things, but the gist is to help with swelling and nausea.
- After premeds, I start the chemotherapy drugs. Each hangs one at a time, with a 30-minute wait time between the two targeted therapies, and it takes a few hours to complete them all. More about my specific regimen below.
- Usually during the drippy drip of the last bag, the nurse applies a Neulasta patch to my arm. This is a time-release patch that administers medication that helps prevent infection. I get to beep and click for awhile about 27 hours later, then peel it off (which is more painful than anything else above!).
- If I’m due for a Zoladex shot, I get this during treatment. Sometimes I make separate trips for this because of when it needs to be given. All I’ll say about this is that it’s a big@$$ needle in my abdomen and it’s really not that fun.
How I Keep Myself Sane on Treatment Days
If you know me, you know that I’m not always a fan of just sitting. Even when I want to relax for an evening, I have a hard time sitting on the couch and just watching a TV show or movie. I have to be working on some type of project at the same time.
That being said, 5+ hours of sitting in a chair attached to an IV stand gets a little tedious. There is a TV in the room, but as I mentioned above, this wasn’t going to cut it for me.
Bring Activities
I pack a bag of things that I can do while I wait. More on that in a future post!
Games: For my first treatment, it was just Aaron and me. We chuckled at ourselves because we brought the game, “Pandemic” (perfect for a hospital setting, no?). We’ve also thrown playing cards in the mix for something quick and easy to set up and play.
Books, music, puzzle books, and an iPad are also a good way to pass the time.
Get Things Done
Make lists: The extended time with not much to do is a good opportunity to meal plan or make grocery/shopping lists for the week(s) to come. Sometimes I make to-do lists to help me remember what I want to get done during the times I’m feeling good.
Thank you cards: While we admit we are waaay behind on getting these sent out, we have brought a stack of thank you cards to write up during treatment days that we can send out to those that have shown us love and support.
Invite Visitors
The thing that has helped the most to make the sessions feel shorter and lift my spirits has been to have visitors.
Aaron comes with me to each treatment, as well as my parents. We also have had drop-in visits from friends and family members. We just sit and chat about whatever and it helps the time fly by!
When it comes to visitors, to each their own. The clinic has the option to receive treatment in a bed so you can nap. From my own experience, I’d recommend being honest about what you need. If you’re not feeling up to it or need rest, don’t be afraid to limit your visitors. Suggest another day when someone can visit on a day following treatment when you’re feeling up to it.
Fighting the Fear
No matter how much research I did, how many questions I asked about how it works, or learned how treatments have improved, the bottom line is that chemotherapy is just scary. The fear alone, of the physical and emotional journey ahead of me, was enough to stop me cold.
While I certainly don’t travel this path alone, I am the one who has to endure the treatment. It’s that laser-focus on the end goal, the reminder that “Our goal is to cure this cancer,” and the reminders of that hope from my loved ones that keep me on the path.
Hendricks Debra says
Even with us being far away remember we think of you and your family every day. We love you all so much, Your going to beat this beast. Your are a strong beautiful women.
Away from Ordinary says
Thank you! The end of this first part is in sight! We hope you’re enjoying your time in the warmer weather. 🙂