(What we do instead)
We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. The hustle and bustle of trying to get somewhere for dinner, eating among the crowds of people with the same idea, and trying to decide on the perfect gifts is too much.
We didn’t always feel this way…
Flashback to February 14, 2013: Our first Valentine’s Day as a couple
We had only been out on a few dates by the time Valentine’s Day rolled around, and we took the opportunity make sure we ticked the obligatory checkboxes for this holiday so we were sure to meet each other’s expectations.
Aaron planned a fun date, going out of his way to borrow board games from a coworker and getting all the fixings to make a nice dinner.
In return, I knitted him a homemade scarf, which in retrospect was pretty grandma-y of me. Aaron made all of the sounds and facial expressions to convince me he liked it. He dutifully wore it around me, not admitting until much later (i.e., years) that it didn’t really fit his style.
Fast forward to February 14, 2014: Our second Valentine’s Day…
…aka our V-Day D-Day
This time around we attempted to clarify our expectations to make changes and not repeat the awkwardness of the last year. We had a semi-uncomfortable but secretly relieving conversation and decided to celebrate Valentine’s Day but “not to make it a big deal.” Well, mistake one was not setting some parameters here, so we both still stressed about getting the perfect gift. The evening was more about feeling stressed about gifts, rather than focusing on the reasons why we were together.
February 14, 2015: The day to end Valentine’s Days forever.
We officially declared we would have nothing to do with the holiday, including gifts, dinners, etc. The conversation wasn’t uncomfortable, it was clear and direct; we agreed–no more need to celebrate Valentine’s Day!
Don’t get me wrong–I do still love cute, fun Valentine’s Day decor and all of the Sweet Tart Hearts. Who doesn’t?!
Now that we don’t worry about doing something “special” on February 14th, we make little attempts throughout the year. We both agree that we like this so much better.
There are a few standard ways we use year-round to celebrate with each other.
Dinner – We love all things food, so this is often central to our date nights. We love trying new recipes and making an event (and a mess) out of trying something new (like making homemade pasta or chocolate lava cakes)!
We also make a point to go out for a nice dinner from time to time. Sometimes “nice” means our favorite, pricier place. Sometimes “nice” is Cousins Subs. Whatever we decide, it feeds our appetites and our budget and we get to relax and enjoy!
Adventure – The activities we have to choose from are limited in February in Wisconsin unless we find something indoors. A major plus to ignoring Valentine’s and celebrating love all year long is that we can take advantage of the warmer months.
Camping is something we typically do with a group, but we decided to make some trips with just the two of us. We tried new campfire cooking recipes (see what I mean? Food is the be-all-end-all with us). We tested our kayaking skills and arm strength (and relationship–it was a double kayak, people) on choppy Lake Superior in beautiful Bayfield, WI!
A fun date night from time to time is also a great way to celebrate. We have been choosing fun, random date nights from a jar lately. It eliminates the need for two indecisive people to make a decision and helps us try new things! Check out our fun December date night ideas.
The little things – Part of what stressed us out the most in the past was trying to find the “perfect” Valentine’s gift. That’s why small surprises are our favorite way to spread February 14th across the whole year. This basically means we just surprise each other randomly when we find something or think of something that just “fits.”
Some things are gift items, but sometimes they’re not gifts at all. A small surprise might be a sticky note in a lunch box or a meal made with the other in mind.
We prefer our approach to celebrating love all year long. It takes the pressure off, but it also just feels more genuine. So what will we be doing on February 14th this year? Probably nothing (except eating Sweet Tarts), and loving every minute!
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